'british'

ive had a couple of people challenge me recently about being 'british' in terms of the way i relate to people as show how i feel, all sounds a bit girly, i know.

so im supposed to be 'happy' now. but if im going to be unbritish the truth is ive never been less happy. im really fighting the urge to fall into a cycle of self pity and instead, as a friend recently said, 'fall onto jesus'...which is a picture i love, as if jesus is like a big trampoline that a firecrew have put strategically in place under a high rise building as a flames engulf a window of helpless victims.

i heard joel virgo preach sunday eve about the rejection jesus went through at the cross. his words were very timely and really helpful. i thought about posting psalm 22 up here but its not short and i doubt anyone reads this anymore anway. if you are...read it.

i refuse to believe the lie that im not good enough or need to do more to qualify. i know i sound pathetic and miserable but i really am finding strength in god, or at least trying to!

hopefully my next post will be a bit more jolly