some recent thoughts

at the risk of sounding 'cynical' but with the genuine desire to sound honest this is a quote from one of the most helpful, honest, encouraging, life giving and god centred book i have read for a few years. i would strongly recommend it:

'spiritual growth has become an industry, a system, a set of principles, formula, training programmes, curricula, books and tapes, which, if followed, promise to produce maturity and depth. most of these programmes are made up of the same ingredience: prayer, bible study, service and community. duh. Authentic growth doesn't happen overnight. it cant be reduced to a formula.

yes, a regime of prayer, bible study, service and community can and will contribute to spiritual growth, but thats like saying that milk, vegetanles and chicken will contribute to my physical growth. physical and spiritual growth cannot be reduced to mechanics. im all for getting the mechanics right, but spiritual growth is more than a procedure; its a wild search for god in the midst of the tangled jungle of our souls, a search which involves a volatile mix of messy reality, wild freedom, frustrating stuckness, increasing slowness and a healthy dose of gratitude.

now are you ready to talk about spiritual growth? the kind of spiritual growth that starts with desire, not guilt; passion, not principles; desperation, not obligation? are you ready to grow by travelling the road of failure, frustration and surprise?'

'messy spirituality - christianity for the rest of us' by mike yaconelli

i sang this verse at the top of my lungs in church this morning then all the way home down the motorway! what a saviour!

'the lord has promised good to me, his word my hope secures;
he will my shield and portion be, as long as life endures.'

amazing grace - john newton

this weeks top 3:
...top 3 things i want to pursue god for this next month:
1) passion - i have been so lazy, moody and unpassionate the last few months im surprised anyone wants to spend any time with me!
2) future - seems so uncertain and the thought often depressing. yet my hope is secure, my portion is him.
3) adventure - whats the point of living if you're not going to have adventures and enjoy it all. i want to take risks and go out on a limb

one final thought:
you dont always get what you want...
...but you always get what god wants and who knows better than god?

sick of being sick and 5 good things

ive decided im sick of being sick. for almost a month now ive had one thing after another. i was told it was lack of sleep, food and a lot of stress. i have lost 1/2 a stone in 3 weeks, which is a lot for someone who has very little excess to lose. so ive started trying to eat a lot and take some meds to help me get through the night. i had a nasty rash cover my chest for a few days and a few other things.

its good for me to write this stuff down because a lot of stuff is very hard to share with people, as ive realised recently. but i also know that its not helpful to go off on one, so that all i'll say. mainly because i really feel like i needed to write about something and also because i really feel like i need some help and prayer.

no need being completely downcast.

so here's 5 good things that have happened in my life this month:

1) god has really met with me and spoken to me and out of some good times with him ive got some great new worship songs i felt like god give me for the church.
2) i did really well in my first uni exam results.
3) great new job, lots of hard work but also lots of responsibility.
4) passed my driving test and already get to drive a sweet 4x4 2.8ltr pick-up truck at work!
5) moving into a new house with a great family who are completely brilliant

nigel dutton (elder in hastings) spoke a word over me a few years ago about me being a 'bricks and mortar man' meaning i will be used to help 'build' and 'grow' the church. i wrote it down at the time and completely forgot about the second half of that word, until i found the piece of paper last week, where he said that i would be known as a man who finds god in brokeness and that out of painful times feeling broken god would use me in great ways.

he really is the only one.