tick tock

the following is some more words from a man who is quickly becomming a hero of mine, John Piper.

'I have an unusual habit when I go to bed. After Noel and I pray, I crawl into bed and situate myself on my left side, facing the red glow of the radio-alarm-clock numbers on the bedside table. I pull my hands up in front of me at about face level and wait for a few minutes in stillness, usually praying silently with gratitude for the wife who lies behind me, and for my children, and for the ministry God has given me. Then I take my right hand and curl my fingers around my left wrist and find my pulse. I watch the red minute number until it changes, and then I begin counting. One . . . two . . . three . . . When the number changes, and one minute has passed, I stop.

I began this peculiar habit out of the vain notion that, if my heart rate were very slow, from good exercise (or genes), it may mean that my heart is healthy and I will live long. Such is the silliness of human thought. The effect has been otherwise. Now, as I count the beats, it is not the rate that fixes my attention, but the succession. One beat, then another, then another, on through the night, about 21,000 times while I sleep. The effect of this little exercise is that I fall asleep most nights, lulled by the steady rhythm of my heart, and with a sober sense of my very fragile existence. Any one of those beats could be my last. I cannot will to make my heart beat one more time. If it stops, it stops. I and my time on earth are over. "If I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take."

Time is precious. We are fragile. Life is short. Eternity is long. I enter my month-long writing leave with a sense that every minute counts. O, to be a faithful steward of the breath God has given me. Three texts resound in my ears: 1) "Redeem the time" (Ephesians 5:16); 2) "It is required of stewards that one be found trustworthy" (1 Corinthians 4:2); 3) "His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me" (1 Corinthians 15:10).

Surely God means for our minutes on earth to count for something significant. Paul said, "In the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain" (Philippians 2:16). In the same way, I have good hope from the Lord that my "labor is not in vain in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 15:58).'

P is for...

Isaiah

18 "Come now, let us reason together,"

says the LORD.

"Though your sins are like scarlet,

they shall be as white as snow;

though they are red as crimson,

they shall be like wool.

19 If you are willing and obedient,

you will eat the best from the land;

a breath of piper air

before communion on sunday, it had been a while since i felt like i had met with God. The last few months have been a real struggle and ive been fighting to sustain any resemblance of a healthy spiritual life. i dont really know why but i have said a few times to a few people ive just been feeling very tired spiritually, i never forget the truth that how i feel doesnt affect what i know to be true or my identity in christ but that doesnt mean i should be dishonest about what is actually going on in my life at the moment. one thing that bothers me more than anything at the moment is unrealistic people in the church that set unattainable goals....thats one for another blog (i know im one of the biggest offenders!).

a while back i added the desiring god website to my favorites page and promised myself to read it as often as possible. the great thing about this site is its written by john piper, a greatly respected teacher, and its updated everyday with a new topics which are always accessible and easy to understand. unfortunately i seem to have football etched into my dna so i rarely get past the bbc football news page and reading a few emails. today however im feeling motivated, probably because ive decided that today is the day when i will finish my marketing essay and start my accounting practice exam papers....so im psyched up! i found todays topic particularly relevant and inspiring. i recommend this site for daily reading, at the moment my entire devotional life is lived reading the pages of this site, i know thats not great but things come and go in seasons and at the moment, in the spiritual season im in, this is all i can manage.

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2001/1170_Storms_Are_the_Triumph_of_His_Art/